I was 48 and he was 41 when we married. We were very happy, although the topic of having children kept coming up and remained unresolved. He wasn’t sure he wanted kids, but I wasn’t getting any younger, with the approach of menopause starting to heat things up. Even though it may sound crazy at my age, I never lost hope that it would happen, in whatever form was meant for me—foster parenting, adoption, surrogacy. I once read “things happen in God’s time; not in yours.” That stayed with me. We worked for three years to get to where we are today. Our path to becoming parents took many turns. We first explored foster care, then adoption, then surrogacy in a foreign country. It really didn’t matter to me, I could love any baby. So we were on the road to surrogacy when my doctor suggested I meet his best friend, who is a premier reproductive fertility doctor in Los Angeles. When I met Dr. Najmabadi, he asked me several questions about my health. He then said, “You have a young body and spirit. Why do you think you need a surrogate?” I laughed and responded that I was 52 years old! On top of that, I had had an ectopic pregnancy that had left me with only one fallopian tube. “You only need a uterus to carry a child through IVF. You will need a donor egg. I highly encourage you to try.” “Excuse me?!” I was beyond stunned. I had never considered this, yet had always yearned for a child and the experience of pregnancy. In that moment, he opened a door to possibilities that I thought had been bolted shut. I walked out of his office in tears, with a reeling mind and a surreal sense of hope. “What if?” The word “never” was suddenly dissolved and unlimited possibilities opened up. I felt like I might have just won the Lotto. I was still reeling when I got home. I had struggled with several health issues in the past and was fearful that my husband would say I wasn’t healthy enough to carry a child. He surprised me when he said, “Let’s go for it.” Of course, some people haven’t been so positive—I have received a few skeptical comments. Like, “Does she realize that when her kid is in college she will be over 70?” To that I answer, “Yes, and I look forward to every moment ahead.” I’ve learned that time isn’t linear. Age is just a state of mind. In fact, my OB said I had the most normal, healthy pregnancy despite me being the oldest patient he had. (He also said that he had three other first-time mothers in their 50s.) Sure, toward the end my back was aching and I was tired, but as my doula Lori Bregman, said, I was no different from her other 30-year-old clients who were at this point in their pregnancies. It was Lori who gave me the courage to be confident and proud of my age so I could be an example for others who had their own dreams, whatever they were, later in life. This has been the miracle of my life. My experience is all I know. I have nothing else to compare it to. I feel so blessed and grateful every day. No matter how sick I was in the beginning, and no matter how tired I get now, my heart is so full of love and gratitude that it overrides all of that every single day. The most amazing part of my story is not just that I got pregnant at 52 with only one round of IVF but the incredible series of miracles that took place and the lessons I’ve learned going through this process before, during, and after Sky’s birth. My precious daughter is my dream come true. I am completely in love. My life is really just beginning. She is passionate about philanthropy and currently supports and advocates for several non-profits including CED Orphanage “GIFT” – Girl’s Institute For Technology – a program to rehabilitate and educate orphan girls in India. She is a member of The Producer’s Guild of America, The Humane Society, Canine Cancer Foundation, The ASPCA, UNICEF, The Zen Hospice Foundation, among others. Her greatest production to date is giving birth to her daughter Sky Tara Spivack. Born November 1, 2015.
