I love yoga. Along with my demanding job and single-parenting a toddler, I teach a yoga class once a week. Yoga, I knew, was something I could do more of. Yoga helps me feel connected, present, and calm. So I made a commitment to myself, do yoga every day for 30 days and see what changed. I set my parameters: Every day I would spend at least 20 minutes on my mat. That’s it. I even made myself a little chart. Even though it was just a 20-minute minimum, it wasn’t always easy for me to find the time. I had to be creative and committed to make it happen. By keeping my commitment, I repeatedly reinforced the message to myself that I am worthy and I am important. Other subtle pieces began to shift as well. I can’t know for sure that they are all a result of my yoga practice, but here’s what changed for me over the past 108 days. Taking away that platform left space for me to begin to be “OK” with me, my life, and my choices without comparison. It has allowed me to be more self-accepting. I’m less concerned with how my life looks and can put more stock in how it feels to me, and me alone. This pattern continued, and I held it all in, experiencing the joys and challenges of motherhood on my own. I was worried about the judgments of others and spent an enormous amount of time wondering how people perceived me. That was three years ago, and I am slowly opening up. I am deflecting more comments that weren’t intentionally meant to hurt and practicing compassion toward those who do try to hurt. Living life with secrets is not how I intend to move forward. Although it’s more painful, it is freeing. The more comfortable I am with my own story, the less other people’s opinion matters.
