Below, an overview of the lotus sex position and a few tips on how to master it. “This configuration leaves two face-to-face bodies pressed tightly together, which can be intimate, sweet, and sexy,” says Good Vibrations sexologist Carol Queen, Ph.D. Well, if you’re craving more intimacy and romance in your sex sessions, the lotus position is perfect. It offers the opportunity for kissing, full-body embraces, and nonstop eye contact. “Incorporate eye-gazing, in-sync breathing, and touching your foreheads (your third eye) together to increase the feeling of connection even more,” suggests Barbara Carrellas, ACS, sexologists, tantra educator, and author of Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century. “This is not a position for a fast fuck! It lends itself better to slow lovemaking and a soulful connection.” Either way, this pleasure bulb contains over 8,000 nerves, so doting on it is always a good move. And with the lotus position, the clit is right there! If you’re on top, your clit will rub against your partner’s body as you rock your hips against theirs. You can also have your partner reach between your legs, or reach between your own legs using your fingers or a vibrator like the Le Wand Petite. A chakra refers to a center of concentrated, spiritual energy throughout the body. Early traditions say that every human has seven chakras that run from your pelvis up your spine and to the top of your head. Even if you’re not into spiritual stuff, all that means is that this position can feel uniquely energizing because your bodies are so in sync. In fact, because you can see your partner’s face the entire time, Lotus may actually be a better option for first-time anal play. “In addition to verbal communication, you’re able to read your partner’s facial expressions to judge speed, depth, and comfort,” says Queen. And Carrellas adds: “[This position] can also be done if one partner is in a wheelchair,” says Carrellas. “Just note that the partner sitting on top must make sure to move frequently enough to avoid cutting off circulation in their partner’s legs.” RELATED: How Important Is Sex In Relationships? 9 Things To Consider What makes the yab-yum position tantric, however, is not the configuration of your bodies but how you make love in that position, she says. “Tantric sex means you’re breathing, focused on the moment (and not some future orgasmic goal), and being creative,” she says. Meaning, simply getting into the lotus position doesn’t mean you’re having tantric sex. If you want to learn more about how to have this insanely spiritual, intimate form of sex, here’s our full tantric sex guide. RELATED: 13 Ways To Make Sex More Intimate + Intimate Sex Positions Facing them, have the second straddle them and lower down so that you’re both chest-to-chest and eye-to-eye. “If it’s comfortable, the seated-on-top person can wrap their legs tightly around their partner’s torso while the bottom partner pulls you both together with their arms,” says Queen. What you do from here depends on your genital combination and sexual preferences. “Typically, the partner on the bottom will penetrate the partner on top, and then for (vaginal or anal) penetrative intercourse to take place,” she says. And it’s all about slow, soulful lovemaking, she emphasizes. So rather than fast thrusting, try slow rocking. If penetration is not on the table (er, bed), she suggests exploring oral-to-nipple stimulation, hand hanky-panky, making out, ear and neck licking/sucking/tongue-flicking, external vibrator use, and grinding. RELATED: 11 Sex Positions For High Sex Drive + What Makes Them Great Even breathy moans, gasps, and heavy breathing go a long way in arousing your partner auditorily. Lube is also a great addition to nipple stimulation. Add a dab to your fingertips before circling the areola or flicking the nipple. A water-based lubricant like Sliquid Sassy is a great option, especially if you’re planning to use silicone-based toys or latex barriers. “You might even think beyond the genitals and use a vibrator along your partner’s chakras,” says Carrellas. This adjustment will alter the angle of penetration so that if the person on top has a vagina, their urethral sponge (colloquially known as the G-spot) will be more likely to be targeted. Squirting orgasm, anyone? Draped lotus is also a great option for intermediate and advanced anal sex havers who are craving deep anal penetration and eye contact. Reverse Rider fans will recognize this iteration. “It’s basically just a reverse Rider, but the closeness parallels that of lotus but without the eye-contact,” says Queen. Another option for reduced intimacy: Place your hands behind you and lean back! This also puts your clit or cock in position for extra loving. To do it, lock right eye to right eye, left eye to left eye, and breathe in sync. “Eye-gazing takes us to new levels of intimacy, and you may feel the urge to look away,” she says. “It’s trust of the highest order.”
