By supporting her in knowing she has time to just switch off, you are holding space for her to begin enjoying sex. Being rushed, distracted, or disturbed can be off-putting for her and make it harder for her to feel good in better. Having all these bases covered shows her you’re sensitive to her and helps you create space she can retreat deeply into. Instead, try touching her whole body with long, firm strokes to get her blood moving. A stiff and non-responsive lover is hard to get any kind of ignition happening with. By using long, firm strokes over her whole body and inviting her to breathe and relax, you are letting her know she has all the time in the world to enjoy your offerings. Originally from Australia and now based in New York, she offers workshops and private counseling to people globally face-to-face and online. She’s faculty at New York’s Omega Institute and also the creator of the acclaimed Atlas of Erotic Anatomy and Arousal video series. Visit her at her website and follow her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.