The journey back to who you are will take time and effort. Once you’ve taken the time to get over your breakup, you’re ready to work on your next steps of personal growth. Here are six tips for finding yourself again and how to raise your self-esteem: If the picture you have of yourself in your mind stems from angry comments, hurtful words, and painful descriptions of your behavior, recognize that this is simply not accurate. Once you can acknowledge that they hurt your self-esteem, then you can rebuild your self-worth. You define you. Whether you’re finding yourself dwelling on angry things your ex said to hurt you or are simply rehashing memories, flood it all with compassion. Let the painful thoughts pass by like floating clouds instead of piercing you like fatal thunderbolts. You regret what you did to them. They likely regret what they did to you. Your relationship may feel like a colossal failure because of everything that went wrong. There is always plenty of blame and regret to go around for everyone in the relationship. There is plenty of pain and heartache that each of you caused. But the only way to keep this from weighing on your self-worth for the rest of your life is to let go of this heavy burden. You must find it within yourself to forgive your ex and let go of the past. Do it because it’s the right thing to do and because you’re a kind, compassionate person. If not that, do it for yourself so that you can let go of the burning coals of resentment. You may not be able to move on until you forgive your ex. If you’re being unusually hard on yourself and feel like you’re responsible for everything that went wrong, it will be hard to move on and rebuild your self-worth. So to return to your truth, you have to dig deep and start living in tune with your intuition. Start listening to those strong feelings guiding you. Stop listening to the chatter of your ex and everyone else around you. Practice being present with yourself, by yourself, and working on your self-esteem. Try visualizing yourself as a confident person. Use affirmations like these on a daily basis: “I am confident, and I trust myself,” “I am a loving person, and I am worthy of love,” and “I believe in myself and my abilities.” Be sure to take care of yourself and do good things for yourself while healing. Try yoga, meditation, getting more sleep, going for walks in nature, and having more leisure time for yourself. (Here are a bunch of ways to practice self-care after a breakup.) Service can be a great self-esteem booster. When you give of yourself without any expectation of return, you begin to feel lifted up. Think about ways to connect with others and direct your positive energy outward. Doing this will put you in a more compassionate and kind space, both of which help boost your self-worth. Your past relationship coming to an end doesn’t need to be a reason to squash your self-esteem. Instead, use your breakup as a springboard to practice self-love, show compassion, and rebuild confidence.
