I’d heard experts say time and time again that the only way to move through pain is to face it head-on, not run away from it. But my natural tendency was to avoid the pain—to get as far away from it as possible by pushing it aside or looking for ways to go numb. The problem with those approaches was that they only created bigger problems in the form of stress, anxiety, and emotional stagnation over time. It’s important not to shame yourself for any feeling that comes up, no matter what it is. Anything goes. Treat yourself like you’re your own child. Tell yourself everything is OK. Tell yourself that you’re there. This might seem weird, but the love we have for ourselves can be our greatest tool for healing emotional pain. Again, pay attention to any emotions that arise and allow them to surface without judgment. You might feel sadness and the need to cry. Don’t hold anything in. So, grab a pillow, stuff your face into it, and scream until you feel like you’re done. If you find yourself needing to cry, let it out. You might feel a sudden burst of happiness or giddiness and want to start laughing. Whatever you feel, just go with it. Sometimes we’re in so much emotional pain that dancing just doesn’t feel possible. In those cases, getting outside and taking a walk can help lift your mood enough to make a huge difference in your day. Try some gentle yoga or a walk in nature. Remember that our society teaches us to avoid emotions with mantras like ’emotions are weak’ and ‘you should just get over it,’ so leaning into them will be harder than avoiding them. Do them anyway. Try just one. You’ll notice a difference in how you feel, and that will be your incentive to keep going. You will be showing up for yourself, you will be giving yourself love, and you will be healing on your own terms.
