What it means: “A side hug means you’re not fully in it,” says intimacy expert Julian Colker. This hug is more common in acquaintances than friends since it’s more approachable and appropriate for people who aren’t very close. Similar to words of encouragement, a side hug is almost like saying “You’ve got this!” without being fully heart to heart, explains relationship and intimacy coach Marla Mattenson. What it means: The distance between the two pelvises provides extra space so nothing is misconstrued to be sexual or romantic. Generally, these hugs are quick, unless you haven’t seen each other for a long time, Mattenson adds. What it means: According to Mattenson, this pose is bonding for couples because they can stay physically close while looking at the same view. Generally, the taller person in the relationship will be behind (similar to spooning, a common cuddling position). To give the “big spoon” a chance to be the “little spoon,” the shorter person can hug from behind. It can also be a great hug for parents to give to children. “It gives them that extra support behind their back that’s literally saying ‘I’ve got your back,’” Mattenson says. What it means: This is an intimate romantic hug, which provides an opening for someone to make the next move. “They can take it into a more playful sexual realm, maybe start kissing or gazing into each other’s eyes,” Mattenson says. What it means: According to Colker, the feeling of a bear hug is reminiscent of being in the womb, when we feel warm and secure. It also helps to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which gets us out of a fight, flight, or freeze mode. “This type of hug is so satiating on a physical, human level,” Mattenson says. Close friends, romantic partners, and family members can all appropriately engage in a bear hug. What it means: Often thought of as a forced or unwanted hug, the one-sided hug may actually be emotionally supportive. “It’s OK to crumble into your partner a little bit and have them support you when things are really challenging,” Colker says. Overall, the one-sided hug is permission to just receive. What it means: “Most people unintentionally hug starting from the right side because it’s more protective and further away from the heart,” Mattenson explains. “When you go in from the left side, it’s intimate.” This is a great hug for couples who want to become intimate together. Heart-to-heart hugs are also beneficial for people who don’t typically like hugging but want to appease a loved one who likes physical touch or has physical touch as a love language. “It’s more nourishing for both of you, even if you don’t really enjoy the physical touch aspect of it,” Colker says. “The act of hugging also releases oxytocin stored in the pituitary gland, which is often affectionately referred to as the ’love hormone’ because it helps us bond with our newborns,” Ruhoy explains. “That feeling of love, familiarity, and fellowship is why we have the instinct to hug our children, our parents, and our friends.” That release of oxytocin, along with serotonin, helps lower stress by de-escalating cortisol1 in the body. In this sense, hugging is an accessible and effective stress management tool. Physically, studies have linked hugging to a decrease in physical pain and an improvement in cardiovascular health2. “Hugging is one of the most unintentionally comprehensive practices you can do,” Mattenson says. “It’s so easy, and it doesn’t cost any money.”
