Radical honesty is bold. You throw your cards on the table to honor who you are and ask for what you really want. Ever notice how after a deep, raw, honest conversation with your partner, you can’t keep your hands off each other? Let your partner see you. All of you. Tell the truth, even if it scares you. Think of your bedroom as your sanctuary to reconnect and rejuvenate. Commit to working on your sex life the way you do any other area of your growth, such as nutrition, health, or fitness. If sex isn’t something you two tend to do spontaneously, schedule it in. If the sex you’re having isn’t great for one or both people, see how you can explore what turns you on as individuals and how to strengthen your sexual connection with each other. It can be easy to sacrifice your deeper needs for the sake of your relationship, but your soul food and the things that make your heart sing bring you deep fulfillment. When you are revitalized, you bring that juiciness back into your relationship. It’s the careful balance of closeness and distance that creates erotic tension. Play with it. In the first few years, we put our new relationship at the top of our priority list. We nurture it. We make time for it. Once that feels secured, we pay less attention. We drift. But you can maintain that passion and intensity simply by deciding to do it. However, if you’re committed to stagnation and no evolution in your life, then you’ll definitely be married to the same person. You can recreate the thrill of the new all the time. As you both grow and unfold, learning new things about yourselves, you’re getting to know your partner on new levels too. This keeps you endlessly fascinated with the ever-evolving person in front of you. The bottom line is that you get to design your relationship. It’s entirely possible to be with someone for decades and still have smoldering passion. How do you want your relationship to look? What are you willing to do to get it there?
