I’ve read a few tongue-in-cheek memes that go somewhere along the lines of how 2023 is upon us while we are still processing 2020. In my book This Is What Matters, I write about a review you can do for your own life, as you reflect on your journey thus far. Whether you do it at the end of the year, or the beginning of the year, or anytime really doesn’t matter. The point is to carve out 10 minutes and do it. Here’s how: Who you are is also defined by the choices you make, especially those you keep repeating, and the values by which you live your life—do they belong to you or someone else? As well, can you see these episodes as part of life or momentary periods of bad fortune rather than ascribe permanence to them and crane your neck out for the next bad thing that will happen? Are you able to acknowledge the role you’ve played in creating the positive outcomes in your life instead of merely attributing it to luck? So, when you consider your life’s journey to date, what are you able to acknowledge, and what do you prefer to suppress? The science is clear that self-love and self-compassion benefit us. But the truth is, not everyone buys into that. Some people feel that self-love sounds needlessly pompous and narcissistic; others fear compassion makes them lose their keen, sharp, ambitious edge. But whether or not you want to practice self-love and/or self-compassion, everyone benefits from having an overview of what they are willing to accept about their lives and themselves. This is also an exercise in gratitude and, more importantly, an exercise in courage. Looking deep within can be scary; the epiphanies can feel overwhelming when you’re confronted with them, and it feels like there’s nowhere to hide. But done in a way that allows you to take action, and reflect on your strengths, trust yourself that you are on the right track to building a life that matters. She has been featured in Elle, Forbes, and Business Insider and has previously worked with Olympians, business professionals, and individuals seeking to master their psychological capital. She works globally in English and Mandarin-Chinese via Skype and Facetime, blending cutting-edge neuroscience, psychology, and ancient wisdom.
