Yep, unfortunately, stress is a major obstacle to living a long and healthy life. In fact, research shows1 that perceived levels of stress are associated with increased mortality in a dose-response pattern (meaning the higher the perceived stress, the greater the increased risk of death). That said, consider your mindset. According to Epel, a negative narrative around stress often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. “When we really focus on the negative aspects of stress and go into a stressful situation [thinking], ‘Stress is bad for me. It’s wearing me down. I’m not going to be able to cope when I’m stressed,’ those put us in the place of having more of a threat response. So we actually get much more stressed about stress,” she explains. Whereas if you enter a situation with positive beliefs about stress (“This stress is strengthening me. Stress is good for me. It’s helping me cope. Stress is energizing. My body’s excited,” Epel offers), you are much more likely to better tackle that stressor. “Find [the statement] that feels true, that fits for you, and then use that like a shield,” says Epel. Of course, relinquishing control is much easier said than done. But according to Epel, it may help you to zoom out, take stock of all of your stressful situations, and sort them into what you actually can and cannot control. “Know where to put your energy, and know where to literally lean back and focus on acceptance,” she notes. That way, you won’t feel as overwhelmed by the stress. For situations beyond your control, you can focus on letting go; then it may become easier to come up with an action plan for situations you can actually tackle. So take a step back and reflect on how you really want to use your time. Can you shuffle tasks around to better serve what’s most meaningful to you? “Life is much shorter than it feels, and there’s this preciousness to every day,” Epel continues. “There’s so much wisdom in that for thinking about stress because stress is daily—we can either live in it every day and bathe in a chronic stress lifestyle, or we can actually wake up and do things to reset our course, to focus on joy, to have moments of ease, to stop the daily rush so that doesn’t become our whole lives.” “Just ask yourself right now: What are three things that I’m grateful for today in my life?” poses Epel. “They can be small things, they can be big things, relationships, people…” (Coffee often makes it onto her personal list). “Gratitude can actually increase your positive mood immediately.” If you want to take the practice a step further, she recommends reaching out to someone you appreciate. “Text them, or write them, or call them today, and just let them know what they did and how it affected you,” she explains. So not only are you experiencing the benefits of gratitude but you’re also receiving quality social connection, which is also A+ for reducing stress4.
