A common point of tension can be the craving for in-person physical intimacy, which just isn’t possible with your partner. Weiss warns that it is “vital for people in long-distance relationships to talk about whether they would like a monogamous or non-monogamous relationship—and how they are defining monogamy or non-monogamy. Is it OK to flirt with other people? Dance with other people? Cuddle with other people? It is better to be honest about the fact that these desires will come up than to push them under the rug and risk going behind each other’s backs and hurting each other?” Weiss also suggests avoiding an overreliance on texting and emails. “Misunderstandings happen, and disagreements can spiral if people aren’t able to experience the thorough communication that comes from hearing each other’s voices. If you begin to get upset with your partner over something, get on the phone—or, even better, video—as soon as you can to talk it out,” she says. Communication, in general, is the altar on which a long-distance relationship lives or dies, notes couples’ and sex therapist Kyle Zrenchik, Ph.D., ACS, LMFT. “You can only have so many conversations about work and the weather before a relationship becomes dull. Since you are not physically together, each partner is really relying on vivid and thorough conversation to feel like you both are still in each other’s lives. Make sure you both do that well,” he advises.
