However, dating gets a bit more convoluted once we get into our 30s. Here’s what you need to know about dating in your 30s, according to licensed counselor Shanta Jackson, M.A., LPC, and relationship coach Kingsley Moyo. In addition to a more narrow playing field, dating in your 30s means you’ve probably endured your fair share of failed relationships. So have most other eligible singles you come across. Somebody’s bound to have baggage or be jaded by past betrayals. That means some of the innocence and fun of dating may be lost. RELATED: Dating After Divorce: When To Start + 13 Do’s & Don’ts Though the process of courtship may not be as simple as it once was, that’s not necessarily bad. Instead of only using the “like” factor, you start to consider others that support your desired outcome. The quantity of your dates may decrease, but the quality is likely to increase as you use wisdom to your advantage. Jackson recommends focusing on this first and foremost. She notes, “The worst thing you can do to yourself is date in your 30s and have no clue about who you are. This prolongs the dating phase because you waste time with people who have no clue how to treat you, and you don’t know how to verbalize your needs because you don’t know yourself.” “Let go of societal ideas that you’re supposed to be in a relationship, married, or have children by the time you’re 30,” Jackson says. “Love can happen at any age. Don’t pressure yourself so much, and don’t allow singleness to make you believe that there’s something wrong with you.” Moyo adds, “You’re not late. There’s no rule book that says dating has to start and end at a certain age. Age isn’t always an indicator of experience. Many people hold off on thinking about their dating life while they’re focused on their career, social life, or hobbies in their teens and 20s, and that’s totally valid. If that’s you, accept that you’re still learning and release the need to put up a façade in dating. This is important because authenticity is key to connection. Moyo adds, “Understand and accept that wounds follow you. Any unresolved emotional baggage can be projected onto your next partner and ruin your chances of a successful relationship.” Being upfront about wanting something serious will naturally eliminate dates who just want to have fun. Straightforward dialogue will also help you avoid awkward situations later when you’re looking for something casual. If your candor scares someone off, the sooner the better. RELATED: The Best Dating Apps In 2022, Based On What You Want
